bridal shower torture

James finally called me last night to talk about this weekend, but the plane ticket price is now $204 and he thinks it might be too expensive. He said he would sleep on it and call me this afternoon. Iím thinking that heís not going to come, but then I didnít think heíd actually call so I could be wrong. We had a nice chat but it wasnít anything like they used to be. That boy would make my head spin when we talked on the phoneÖbut I guess itís a good thing that there was no head spinning in this conversation.

I read a quote in an email the other day that said something along the lines of marry someone you love to talk to because in the end it will be all you have together. I was slightly worried about thatÖI like talking to Ian but after a bit I lose interest sometimes as he tends to say the same thing over and over. I also read yesterday that itís a common fantasy of people who are newly married that their spouse will die while they are still youngÖtherefore leaving them free to do something else. This is awful but sometimes, especially if Ianís being very smothery, I picture being at his funeral. Walking to his burial site, all in black.

Now everyone get the horror out of your systems, MY GOD!!!! MINNIEíS LOST HER MIND! Not completely dear reader. I donít want the big I to die. That would be awful. Heís my husband and I love him, itís just sometimes you wish things were different. Trust me, one day it will happen to you. I donít regret my marriage, I have other regrets but my life thus far with Ian is not one of them.

Ian is now thinking he wonít go to the beach this weekend. Iím trying to come up with a good excuse as to why I canít go to Jennyís bridal shower this weekend, other than calling up and saying Iím ill or that my car wonít start. Iím such a bitch, blowing off my sister-in-laws showerÖbut oh god, what an experiment of torture. Iím positive there will be silly games about how well you know the happy couple. I DONíT EVEN KNOW JENNYíS MIDDLE NAMEÖick. Anyone out there have any suggestions on how I can get out of this? Send me an email and tell me!!! I am a desperate woman.