2002-08-07

bridal shower torture

James finally called me last night to talk about this weekend, but the plane ticket price is now $204 and he thinks it might be too expensive. He said he would sleep on it and call me this afternoon. I�m thinking that he�s not going to come, but then I didn�t think he�d actually call so I could be wrong. We had a nice chat but it wasn�t anything like they used to be. That boy would make my head spin when we talked on the phone�but I guess it�s a good thing that there was no head spinning in this conversation.

I read a quote in an email the other day that said something along the lines of marry someone you love to talk to because in the end it will be all you have together. I was slightly worried about that�I like talking to Ian but after a bit I lose interest sometimes as he tends to say the same thing over and over. I also read yesterday that it�s a common fantasy of people who are newly married that their spouse will die while they are still young�therefore leaving them free to do something else. This is awful but sometimes, especially if Ian�s being very smothery, I picture being at his funeral. Walking to his burial site, all in black.

Now everyone get the horror out of your systems, MY GOD!!!! MINNIE�S LOST HER MIND! Not completely dear reader. I don�t want the big I to die. That would be awful. He�s my husband and I love him, it�s just sometimes you wish things were different. Trust me, one day it will happen to you. I don�t regret my marriage, I have other regrets but my life thus far with Ian is not one of them.

Ian is now thinking he won�t go to the beach this weekend. I�m trying to come up with a good excuse as to why I can�t go to Jenny�s bridal shower this weekend, other than calling up and saying I�m ill or that my car won�t start. I�m such a bitch, blowing off my sister-in-laws shower�but oh god, what an experiment of torture. I�m positive there will be silly games about how well you know the happy couple. I DON�T EVEN KNOW JENNY�S MIDDLE NAME�ick. Anyone out there have any suggestions on how I can get out of this? Send me an email and tell me!!! I am a desperate woman.