2002-09-23

goals and other piddley crap

How many months is it until 2003? 3 months if we donít count this monthÖwhich we wonít. GAH. 2002 has tormented me long enough. I am ready for this stinkiní year to be over and done with.

Everything bad that could happen baring someone dying has happened. Minnie knocks her desk for good luckÖeven thought itís not really wood.

My wedding was a bright spot but hell that only lasted 5 hours.

I want to take a nap and wake up on January 1, 2003. It will be a shiny new year full of sunshine, lollipops, and kittens.

I want smooth sailing and wide-open spaces and bags full of cash! I want be done with the crapÖ.and something is telling me that itís not quite over yet.

Todayís bad mood is brought to you by R & Jís divorce! I was the witness today for the deposition. To prove to the legal system that the above parties have indeed been living apart and harboring great dislike for each other for no less than 6 months.

I hurt Ianís feelings last night by being completely honest with him about his job and other things that canít be discussed in my wittle diary here. Iím just trying so very hard to not be a controlling byotch. Iím trying so hard that Iím making myself ill. My contestant worrying about things beyond my control is why my IBS has been acting up again. I LIVED in the bathroom this weekend. My doctors say unless I can develop away to let go and relax they are going to put me on paxil. I do NOT want to take any psychotropic drugs for this silly thing Iíve developed.

I can fix this by concentrating on what I know I can change. I made a list of goals yesterday consisting of things I can have an affect on:

Weight loss goals

Educational goals

Neatness goal.

Iím now focusing on becoming a thin, college graduate who is an amazing housekeeper.

Oh lordÖmaybe I do need drugs?