2002-07-08

sick of this crap rant #1

I am grumpy smurf today.

I was very grumpy yesterday as well and Iím thinking itís not a chemical reasonÖthe big I is a big pain in the ass these days

Heís like a hermit. I am beyond tired of having to drag him out to social activities. Itís just too much hassle. Itís like Iím his mother arranging a play date with an obnoxious child.

I think what annoys me the most is when I get home and he says, ď I should have gone with you. Iím sorry.Ē Thatís just passive aggressive bullshit. He didnít want to come if he had he would have fíing gone.

Iím an independent woman, I can handle going to someoneís house to hang out without my husband coming along for me to cling to. I always have fun whether heís there or not. I am a fun gal. But itís having the nagging thought in the back of my head that he didnít comeÖ. WHY didnít he come? Does he not like me? Does he not like (fill in the blank)? Is he agoraphobic? Is he afraid of traffic accidents? Is he afraid of having to make a friend? Is he a total nut? Is he trying to make me mad? Is he sneaking off to meet his other wife? Is he just a plain old stick in the mud? GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Even typing this crap is making me more pissy.

This argument is something that has been a part of our relationship since the kid gloves came off and we really got to know each other. I should know better than to still get all fixated on it. My family has always said, you canít change a manÖno matter how you threaten him.

Maybe I should just find someone else to be the big Iís stand in. A rent-a- husband for social engagements.

Arrrgh, these are the times when I wished I was a smoker. I need something to take the edge off. Someone give me a patch!