2002-07-08

sick of this crap rant #1

I am grumpy smurf today.

I was very grumpy yesterday as well and I�m thinking it�s not a chemical reason�the big I is a big pain in the ass these days

He�s like a hermit. I am beyond tired of having to drag him out to social activities. It�s just too much hassle. It�s like I�m his mother arranging a play date with an obnoxious child.

I think what annoys me the most is when I get home and he says, � I should have gone with you. I�m sorry.� That�s just passive aggressive bullshit. He didn�t want to come if he had he would have f�ing gone.

I�m an independent woman, I can handle going to someone�s house to hang out without my husband coming along for me to cling to. I always have fun whether he�s there or not. I am a fun gal. But it�s having the nagging thought in the back of my head that he didn�t come�. WHY didn�t he come? Does he not like me? Does he not like (fill in the blank)? Is he agoraphobic? Is he afraid of traffic accidents? Is he afraid of having to make a friend? Is he a total nut? Is he trying to make me mad? Is he sneaking off to meet his other wife? Is he just a plain old stick in the mud? GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Even typing this crap is making me more pissy.

This argument is something that has been a part of our relationship since the kid gloves came off and we really got to know each other. I should know better than to still get all fixated on it. My family has always said, you can�t change a man�no matter how you threaten him.

Maybe I should just find someone else to be the big I�s stand in. A rent-a- husband for social engagements.

Arrrgh, these are the times when I wished I was a smoker. I need something to take the edge off. Someone give me a patch!